Dash. Virgin. Vanity. Vocal

Shit! I'm going to die a virgin. Yes. I had this dreadful thought, only moments earlier. As I was climbing onboad the train - I thought to myself. "If this crashed, I am fucked, without being .. well, fucked!". When did I turn into this person. Sure I was waiting. Now though. Part of me wants to remain the big V until I meet someone special. Part of me wants to give it up. I gave everything else away, why not this? To be honest. I do want it. I crave it. I just don't want my first time to have me being used. I would like a relationship before it happens. That would require meeting someone.. anyone. So far, there have been no fish. I am in Sydney - you think I'd be like a cat at a fish farm. Alas, no. I am not what they want here, Next month I am taking a drastic step to appear younger. I am getting some surgery to my aging face. I have fallen trap to vanity - all to be accepted and loved. I do love me, just not my increasing creasing eyes.
I do not eat well. Which is a promise I broke a few weeks ago when I moved here. I vowed that I would eat healthier, cleaner foods. Instead, I am eating packet noodles and loving free coffee. I have kept one promise to myself. That I would train in the gym more - and I certainly am.
Today for breakfast, I had a can of Red Bull & a hot chocolate. Guzzling that down I said out loud to an empty room. "what are you doing dash!?"
Vocals ..Singing loud and proud with buskers, tourists, myself - loving it! Writing a load of new material.
Scattered brain will post part two soon
-dash xoxo