Dash Into 2013

These last few months have been intense to say the least. I took a weekend off work and went to New Zealand for the sole purpose of jumping off the Sky Tower. Which I did - Twice. Stayed in a 5 Star hotel and considered moving to NZ. 

Dated a Maori (in Sydney) who didn't consider it dating. Fell in love, broke my heart. Nothing new. I wont go into much about him. He's another one who literally just stopped calling.

I took my Mum on a Cruise into the Pacific Ocean for a few nights to celebrate her birthday. That was wonderful. Unfortunately, that didn't get Maori off my mind. Departing the ship, I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay and perform with the circus.

I focus solely on my new role at the gym, then I met The Scientist. Maori was still on my mind and I should not have said yes to coffee with this guy. He was younger, sweet & so intense. My brain kept saying stay away from him, but I felt compelled to to see him over and over. The second night we went to his mates birthday. Gets drunk, confesses love. I pretend I don't hear and he pretends he didn't say it. We catch up three or four more times & that's that. 

I resigned from my job. I was then blessed to be signed to a new agency. Invited to the Arias and to walk the red carpet. That was a full on day. I was dressed by SABA and styled by a well known stylist. I met idols, and networked my drunk arse off. 

There after I found myself wondering what to do. It'd been two weeks since I left my job and I had (at that stage) no intentions of getting another. I loved waking up, going to the gym, writing, coffee, lunches, wines. It was brilliant. Then I decided I'd like to travel. I went to visit family interstate a lot. Then came Christmas... THEN, before I knew it - I was leaving for New York baby!

THAT, was an adventure. I do believe I found my home away from Australia. I will fill you in about that trip in a separate blog.

Within a week of returning to this sunburnt country, I had donated most of my clothes and all house hold appliances - and all that was left, were three suitcases at the foot of my bed. I decided to move back to Adelaide for a little while. Get my shit together and get my arse back over to NEW YORK!

So, now here I am. In Adelaide. Working casual at a gym, writing, meeting guys and getting ready for the next stage. All the while enjoying these beautiful moments.

Dash xoxo

Mr Z Stopped Calling

Mr Z hit me for a sixer. I swear each bloke I meet just gets better and better.
We spent a sensational, mind blowing week together. He fucking played guitar and sang to me. I thought I'd met my match. He was/is fantastic. After that week of intensity, he left to travel for one month. Upon return I tried and tried to see him. We caught up a few times, and that was incredible. The last time he went away, I never heard from him again.
I asked the Universe to stop thinking about him. I still can't delete his number. Mr Z still holds a piece of me.

xoxo

Busy/Slow

When you decide to open up your life to the world, it can be frightening. It can be liberating. Leaving nothing hidden. Just being you.
Now, I haven't blogged in over a year. I do have a simple reason. I got carried away with living a real life. I closed my laptop - and began to live.
After logging back into to #ThisIsDash and reading my older posts, it's absolutely clear and obvious that we change. I've learnt many lessons. A big one regarding relationships. Never date someone just out of a relationship. You may have your heart open and are ready for love - they are not. When they tell you that they are not ready. Your heart will break. Good news is, it heals quickly.
As much as I'd like to rehash and update on previous posts, I won't. It's like someone else.

It's summer, the sky is blue and the sun feels so warm on my skin. This is one of the moments I've learnt to savour.

Over the last year, I have gone on a couple of dates.
One was straight out of a film. He was Scottish. So sweet. So sexy. We met at a pedestrian crossing, exchanged numbers and after a couple of texts he asked me out to dinner. We met near his office and walked down to the Opera Bar in Circular Quay. While we were sipping on Sav Blanc, he kept looking at his watch and I was thinking that this was a dud and he wasn't into me. I asked if he had to be somewhere else" and was about to say goodbye, when he laughed and said "I'm rubbish at keeping secrets. See that restaurant over there? I've made reservations". So we made our way over to the beautiful ocean view restaurant, where he ordered bottles of Bollingers and Moet, a 12 course degustation each and the most amazing dessert. I can't even explain how good it was. After dinner, we walked around to a private bar overlooking Sydney Harbour and indulged in a few cocktails, shared a kiss and parted ways. We dated for two months, he said he loved me. Spent every day together until he left the country for London.
I met Officer Greg at the gym. Went out for coffee, spent a few afternoons together. I really liked him, but he kept me at arms length. Deleted his number to resist calling. Though when he texts, I know his number. He still texts me asking how I am. When I respond, I don't hear back for another few weeks.

After Officer Greg, I bought several self help books (as you do). I really just got stuck into work. Not allowing much time for anything, or anyone. That is until I met Mr Z...

Dashing Back

Welcome back to me. It's been more than two months. Part of me knew I couldn't stay away. I'm a writer. Unsure who I'll share this with now that I no longer have Facebook. Again. This time I have not had it for over two weeks. I guess it had been coming. I was spending far too much time logged into that website, wasting time. I cannot believe that a simple website could be so addictive. Perhaps I am just obsessive. Actually, I am obsessive. Damn it.

Let's go back. Last time we were here, I had just started my new job in the city, I was feeling overwhelmed. That is a bloody good word to describe how I felt. Overwhelmed.

Starting in the city opened my eyes to so much. So much, that I will never change back to how I was before this. I have met some fantastic people through the job. A Drag Queen, a Slashie (actor/singer/dancer/model/reception), a Canadian and a ton of others. So many dancers, actors etc. To them, I am just a receptionist who likes to go out each weekend. And, oh boy! Have I been going out!
Back to meeting people. In the past two or so months. I have had afew guys catch my attention.

We'll start with The Colombian. We met at the gym, went for coffee, afew nights later, dinner. He was sweet as pie. Is sweet as pie. Gorgeous guy. Met his mates. Went on more dinner dates. Then he asked (after two weeks) if I'd be his boyfriend. Old Dash would have said no, but I said yes.
So, Dash has his first boyfriend. Felt so cool to say. Maybe I changed, maybe he changed. I felt the interaction between us grow apart. It all came to a night he asked me to meet him out, but to go out with his mates first. I thought, what the hey. So I went with his mates. Had a great time. Finally met up with him,  he was dancing with guys with their shirts off. Went to say gday and went in for a hug and a kiss - and he didn't reciprocate, just kind of pushed me away. That, with a mixture of Sambucca and Tequilla pushed me over the edge. I walked out of the club. Like a tosser - crying. Colombians friends followed me out and said Goodnight and not to worry. I walked home, sent a text thanking him for the fun nights we've had and goodbye. Over the next few days I sent a few more upset texts. And realised it definatly was a goodbye.

Later on, well two weeks ago I was out with The Colombians friends (they are good people). So there we were having a fucking ball, carving up the dance floor like maniacs, when I spy this Handsome Man up on the next level. I recognised him from the gym and knew he had a partner. Noticing he was there alone, I went up to say Gday. Got to chatting with him, discovered he is actually single. Learnt so much about him, well - alot considering we were in a nightclub. Next thing I knew, we were kissing. Then he took me by the hand and danced with me. Being a complete gentleman, he walked me home - me being bolder, invited him in! First for everything hey! Fast forward. He left. I was happy, and went to sleep. Putting it down to a once off, I let it go. He text me the next day! Due to work commitments, we could arrange a time. Then I left the State for a week. He still kept in touch. Friday comes, I step off the plane and there is a text from him welcoming me home and asking me out to dinner and film that night. I said yes. He arrived at 8PM looking so daper in a suit. A kiss and we are off. Throughout dinner he kept his hand on my knee, had wonderful conversation. The film, held my hand & walking to the car held my hand. Stole a kiss in the elevator then held my hand as he drove me home. Dropped me off. Kiss goodnight, and as nice as the night was for me, I think it was a kiss goodbye too. Never mind though. It's only been two days since hearing from him. I will wait for him to text I think. If he doesn't - then I know it was a goodbye. A sweet, perfect goodbye.

So that is what has happened in the man department.

As I mentioned before, I have been going out alot. It has been what I have needed. Getting out to dance, drink, be social, be young. Just have to learn when to stop, so my emotions don't get all stupid. Like they do when I get sleepy.

That's happening now. So.. I will log off. Post more later.

Dash
xoxo

Dash Signs Off - Thanks for Reading

Tonight I wrote a long blog about everything that crossed my mind, from thoughts scribbled on scrap paper, to notes in my phone...and then deleted everything.
Yes, I have shared some stories, some funny, some pathetic, and some intimate.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking time out to read them.
However, I've decided that it's over. No more.
So I will leave you with this last piece of useless knowledge about me.

As at this exact moment I am 14,973,311 minutes old

Peace Out
-Dash

Dash - Remaking HIS World.. and Finding Cheese

Apologies in advance for the utter disgrace of this blog. This editing, little to be desired. But they are my thoughts, my words... so really - I can say what I want - how I want.

I had some time before work yesterday, and wanted to read something. I found a book I had hidden called "Who Moved My Cheese?" by Dr Spencer Johnson. I should point out now, I have many books that I have not read yet - I believe that you will read it when you are meant to. When you are ready. This book, came at such a time when I needed to read it. It's about change, and how to manage it. I should also mention, a few days prior... I began a new job. Long story short, it was amazing and reading it once was enough. It is now in an Express Post bag someowhere in the air on it's my to my sister. My turn to pay it forward.

I went to work with a new found energy and enthusiasm.

Last night I opened a book I have had for quite some time. "Remaking the World" by Dr Frank N.D. Buchman. I had no idea what the book was about. I have never read it, let alone opened it. Upon opening the book, I was so overwhelmed by the stained pages, the smell, the smudged ink....the smudged ink? Upon reading the forward and a few random pages. I discovered that this is a first edition, printed in 1947. Containing speeches. I began reading a few, but was so taken with the musty of smell of the pages and the ink - all the words became a blur and I just found myself flicking through pages being taken in and my emotions flowing out. I am still not ready to read the book, and don't think I will be for a very long time. But the book has spoken to me. We are connected.

About two weeks ago, I picked up a book that has, in fact, altered my actions and thinking. "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...and it's all small stuff" by Dr Richard Carlson. Holy cow! You need to read this book for yourself for you to understand. All I will say, is, I am calmer and more patient. Less judgmental and overall, so much happier not "sweating the small stuff". Really, will anyone care in a year if someone fucked up your coffee order? No. Don't sweat it. Telling someone "Muchly appreciated" really goes a long way. Telling someone what they mean to you, and why. Telling someone that you love them. Writing a heart felt letter. Letting go. I feel like my spirit is soaring. Jesus & Gravity. Jesus lifts you up... Gravity pulls you down. Balance.

Feeling good. Been to a few industry nights to meet other Artists. At first I was a little shocked at some of the attitudes. Then I realised, I am the new kid on the block. Not to worry about it and just be me. Charm their Christian Louboutin heels off! Week after week, things are happening. I have checked out a new studio and production team. I am very impressed and (just quietly) think I will sign with them. Meeting some amazing artists and very privledged to have met them.
Given my workout a shake up. Stopped weights and cardio. Taken up Yoga. No, not because of Hot Yoga Guy - well, maybe just a little. More about that another time.

Also feeling so much like a country boy. Since this new job started in the City. At the risk of sounding naive, my mind is being opened to so much. Rather than feel inadequate, I will relish in the fact that I have not been around the block like some of these City folk.

Anyhow. All n all. Feeling okay. And that is okay. I am going to have a cuppa, and a crumpet. Take notes, write down ideas - and tomorrow - nut out a song or two.

If any of my muso mates are reading this.. thank you for your constant inspiration and encouragment. I am blessed to have you in my life.

I have loads to update on.. all in time... maybe.

Siamo Uno

-Dash
xoxo

Dash: A New Day

High, highs. Low, lows.
Everyone needs to vent. I just happen to do it via this website.
After my rant yesterday. Pearce saw it online, and had messaged me within a few minutes. Fuck, I wish we were closer. Nevermind though.
I think Pearce is the only bloke I haven't described. Maybe one day. Maybe I will just keep the image of him to myself.
-Dash xoxo